


There is no Steve-and-Tony. Only Steve. Only Tony.

by scribblywobblytimeylimey



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Denial, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Oral Sex, Pining, Premature Ejaculation, Tony can’t even keep his story straight in his head, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-18
Updated: 2014-06-18
Packaged: 2018-02-05 05:34:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1807213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scribblywobblytimeylimey/pseuds/scribblywobblytimeylimey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony will resolutely deny he has any romantic interest in his teammate, that his teammate has any romantic interest in him, and that there is, was, or ever will be anything going on between them.</p><p>Absolute denial lets him get away with a lot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There is no Steve-and-Tony. Only Steve. Only Tony.

* * *

 

 

 

 

Tony isn’t gay. He won’t even dignify the question with an answer, if you ask it. He might glare at you, roll his eyes, clear his throat, wait for someone else to interject and clear his name with an incredulous “What,  _Tony??_ ”

He’s thought about it, because who hasn’t? It’s like saying ‘don’t think of penguins’. It’s the elephant in the room. Especially if you’ve had as much sex as Tony has in his lifetime.

Thing is, even if he were gay, Steve just isn’t his type. They’re too different. Steve is so stubbornly old-fashioned and idealistic. He’s the sort of guy who’d never think to bring an umbrella; Tony’s the sort to built one into his suit. And Steve’s the sort of guy who wouldn’t gloat if he were right about the weather. It’s  _insufferable._

That’s not even to mention the way he looks. Tony’s used to being the sexiest guy in the room - how exactly is he supposed to walk around next to Steve? He can’t imagine how anyone would see him as anything less than a shorter, older, scruffier superhero. It wouldn’t be fair.

For all these reasons, and more, he feels confident in saying Steve’s not interested in him, either. No matter what some people delight in hinting.

“That wasn’t an innuendo, birdbrains,” he snaps at Barton one night while they’re loading the dishwasher. “Steve offers help to everyone. With everything.”

“Oh, yeah? What about last night? With the ice cream?”

Tony folds his arms and scowls. “I don’t have time for your guessing games.”

“Please,” Barton snorts. “He didn’t take his eyes off you the whole damn time he was licking that thing.”

Tony threw his arms in the air. “So what? I was in Cap’s line of sight while he ate dessert? Yeah, I really think you’re onto something, here.”

Steve has never leaned too close to whisper something in his ear, either, just to clear that up. The others insist it happens all the time, but Tony hasn’t noticed it once, yet.

They’ve also never finished each other’s sentences. Honestly, Barton, it’s called  _interrupting._

The first time Steve kisses him is a mistake, and Tony’s 90% sure he actually imagined it, anyway, since he was drunk at the time, and you can never be sure what goes on after tequila, but he does remember that Steve’s breath was far from perfect at the time, and why would he think that if he were crazy about him the way Natasha says? Besides, his body was too warm, and you can’t keep kissing someone who’s too warm, or you’ll overheat.

Also, Tony will remind everyone that he’s slept with loads of people he’s hated or otherwise disliked, and some he just plain wasn’t attracted to in the morning, so you can’t use sex as an indicator, not that he’d tell any of them about it in the first place. Steve is nowhere near cautious enough with his teeth while giving head, and he tastes bitter as anything on plenty of occasions, anyway.

On top of that, that’s as far as it ever went, and if someone’s anything more than a booty call, you’d think they’d progress to full sex a bit sooner than a month later; and _besides_ , you don’t hang out with your booty calls on a regular basis, so there’s no way it could be labelled that, either.

And when Steve called him through to his room that one time it was just to help him with putting together a shelf, and that was also the only reason Tony went in. Steve might have pulled him into a long kiss, or something, grazing his lips with his teeth and stroking their wet tongues together, hands on each other’s backs, but Tony can’t really remember.

And they can’t have had sex, anyway, because Steve wouldn’t have had lube and condoms, because why would Captain America have lube and condoms? And Tony wouldn’t have sex without lube and condoms.

What Steve said into his ear  _might_  have been “I want to fuck you,” but it was hard to tell, really, in that voice, low and quiet. It could have been anything.

And, yes, okay, they did fuck after that, not that that’s the way Tony would tell the story, but it hardly even counted. It was over in a flash.

That’s another thing to complain about, really, because Steve finishes like a horny teenager, sometimes coming  _twice_  before Tony does. As if he needed any more reminders of his age.

And the sound he makes when he comes is horribly unattractive, too - a moan of almost-pain, rather than pleasure; gasps of shock, shuddering groans right out of the throes of death. He grips Tony stupidly hard; nearly dislocating his elbow, once. They end up with carpet burn and rug burn and sheet burn and goodness knows what else. He’s cracked the case of the arc reactor by collapsing on top of him; he’s broken bed-frames and waterbeds; he’s left stains that won’t come out, and scratch marks on Tony’s back that are almost as resilient. He’s grumpy when he wakes up in the morning, refusing to budge an inch for at least fifteen minutes. You’d never have thought it. Oh, and his O-face is laughable. Tony’d almost take back the Captain Handsome nickname for that.

Really, who could find all of that attractive?

They’ve never woken up in the same bed because Tony wouldn’t have the oversight to let that happen, not ever, not even once, and in _fact_ , they’ve never even _slept_ in the same bed, because Steve snores like a pig, and who’d want to sleep next to that?

 

Tony isn’t in love with Steve.

 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to know Steve's POV for all this, the inimitable 27dragons did a corresponding fic about exactly that! Check it out [here!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1809502?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#comment_11466454) One of those cases of the sequel far exceeding the original in quality.
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> [el tumblo](http://scribblywobblytimeylimey.tumblr.com)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [There is no Tony-and-Steve. Only Tony. Only Steve.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1809502) by [27dragons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/27dragons/pseuds/27dragons)




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